Am I a bad mom?

I’m having one of those, “Am I a bad mom?” mornings.

Yesterday morning it was raining – not hard but consistently. I asked Tanner if he wanted me to drive him to school. He said, “No thanks, Mom. I want to ride my bike. It’s only water. It’s not going to hurt me. I’ll dry.” My response was, “Yep, good point. Have a good day.”

I guess Tanner and I aren’t ones to make a big deal out of a little rain. I rode my bike in snow. Who cares?

Anyway, at 7am this morning a mom of one of Tanner’s friends from class calls me. She offers to come to my house and pick up Tanner and drive him to school because yesterday she saw him riding his bike in the rain. I thank her and say how nice it is of her to call but that I work from home and can drive him myself, if he wants me to. She apologizes and says, “Oh, I just assumed you were a working mom who had to leave early for work because I thought you would have driven Tanner to school when it rains, if you could have.”

So now I’m feeling bad like Tanner’s classmate’s parents feel so bad for my kid that one of them offers to take him to school for me! I can take my own kid to school, people!

I don’t think the rain is a big deal and I agree with Tanner that a little rain never hurt anyone, but still, after I get off the phone with the other mom I tell Tanner I need to drive him to school. He was upset because he likes riding his bike and didn’t understand why I had changed my mind about him riding his bike in the rain. He says, “It’s not raining that hard mom, why are you so upset about the rain all of a sudden?”

I say, “Because if you come to school all wet this morning I’ll probably get a call from another parent to see if you can come live with them!” Not what I should have said, I know. Tanner just scrunches up his face and says, “Ok, Mom – whatever.” And he gets into the car.

The mom who called was just trying to be nice, I know that. But, I’m kind of upset that I second guessed myself because of her call. It just makes me realize how parenting involves social pressure, just like being a kid did. I want to rise above that social pressure, but I’m not always able to.

Another example – this weekend Tanner was invited to a birthday party. Tanner is 8 ½ years old. I don’t feel like I need to stay with him anymore at birthday parties. So, I RSVP yes and drop him off. I had already met the parents earlier this year so I walked him in and gave them my phone number again and told them I would pick him up in two hours. When I came to pick him up I realized that I was the ONLY parent who dropped off. Why do these parents want to stay at an 8-year-olds b-day party? Wouldn’t they rather get some Christmas shopping done or just have a little time to themselves? I don’t get it.

I love Tanner so much. I especially love how independent he is. He’s his own person and I like letting him feel the world out, trying things for himself. He knows I’m here whenever he feels like he needs me. He has told me that he loves it that I trust him to do things on his own. I just hope I can keep doing it without feeling like I have to change to fit in with other parents.

Last Day

Last day we hung around the beach and had drinks at the beautiful bar in the center of the resort.

So sad to leave but good to see the kids again. Best vacation ever!

Rock Concert

Here we are before we went into the ballroom for the rock concert.

Before the show started they served drinks that had ice cubes that lit up.

Blues Traveler opened up for Sheryl Crow. Amazing!


Sheryl rocked. Can you believe she is almost 50 years old?


After the concert they had an after hours dance party at the bar. Jeff and I danced and stayed up to 1:30am. Haven't done that in a long time.

Luau

Went to Luau one of the nights.

Had our picture taken with some of the dancers.

Don't you think this Hawaiian guy looks a little like Wayne Newton?