Mexico, Crisis and then Paige's Room

Nothing settles my troubled mind like Mexico. I had to renew my Mexico residency card so we took a quick overnight trip the last week of February. Although it was a very brief visit, it was exactly what I needed. It was good to have that peacefulness right before things got really bad for me at work.

Last week was one of the hardest weeks of my life. Knowing that I was in a department where I was not in harmony with others in terms of my beliefs about people and progress, I have been looking for other opportunities within the company. Because they knew I was seeking other jobs and needed a maternity leave, a couple executives in my department tried to force me into resigning so that they could better deal with their budget and resource pressures. Had they been successful, I would have had to leave the company by the end of March without a Leave of Absence to care for Paige and no job to come back to.

But a miracle happened - at least what seems like a miracle to me. In a panic, I went to several colleagues in the business who know Jeff and I as people, not to mention our quality of work and history with the company. All I had to do was tell a couple of people what was happening and a buzz went around that reached several of the top executives of the company - executives who happen to be good people who care about employees and their families. There were many calls made and the end result was that my job was saved, I am allowed to have a 12-week leave to care for Paige and I now have several job leads within the company from people who know my work history and this situation and want to help.

Although I am still hurt and feel wounded to the very core for what almost happened, I am also deeply touched and incredibly thankful for the people who went out of a limb for me and for my family.

Although I know things are still going to be incredibly uncomfortable at work until I go on my leave, I have spent this weekend trying my best to heal. I spent Friday night with Alexis, Cara and Kelly - telling them my story and soaking up their empathy and encouragement. Jeff, Tanner and I went to a baseball game with friends on Saturday and then over to my brother's house on Saturday night for more support and good times. Sunday I spent the day in Paige's room - folding her clothes, getting things ready, making everything perfect for when she comes.

Things are better but still up in the air. I'm still not sure exactly what job I will have when I come back from my leave. I'm not sure when Paige will get here (sometime between April 1 and 14 they tell me). I'm not sure what it will be like to stay home for several months with two kids. I'm looking forward to really experiencing being a stay-at-home mom, but that comes with some fear about how successful I will be at it - at least at first.

All I can do is take in a deep breath and say to myself - I don't know what is going to happen, but thank God for the people in my life that will stand beside me no matter what comes my way.