Insights

My two week vacation ends tomorrow and I find myself reflecting on the past several months and getting myself ready to start a new year on Monday.

Every experience brings new insights, lessons learned, and collected wisdom. The last several months have taught me so much. I learned that I can only be at peace with myself when the voice inside me is stronger than the voices outside of me. I recognized how other people's fear can be an expression of love, but can trigger doubt and fear in me that would sometimes leave me breathless and confused until I could once again find my own voice, growing stronger and more sure with every defeated insecurity.

I learned that some people want you to have a reason and an explanation for everything you do and are leery and suspicious of those whose motivation cannot be defined.

I learned that people will question their own level of generosity when inspired and most will respond with compassionate actions and support, while some will go quiet with guilt and self consciousness, and still others will become angry and suspicious. I believe that we are what is inside us. If inspiration generates happiness and love, that's what we have inside of us. If inspiration generates fear and regret, that's what makes us up.

I learned that we are all capable of so much and there is so much to do for the world.

I have learned to be true to myself and my dreams and to listen to my own heart over anyone else, even if what others are saying is nice. Actually, especially then.

I was listening to one of my favorite speakers, a spiritualist and an activist named Marianne Williamson. She was speaking to a group of women when a lady in the audience stood up to ask a question about her relationship with her boyfriend. Marianne listened for a couple minutes and then abruptly interrupted the guest and said, "Stop. Just stop. What are you doing with all this complaining about your boyfriend? You have a planet to save!"

I began to see all the unnecessary worrying about relationships as my "stop" wake up call. I am who I am. For those out there wondering, I didn't donate my kidney for special consideration, attention, a diversion, a death wish or to make money.

And who cares anyway?

After all, I have a planet to save.